Crib.

When I brought the nugget home from the hospital I was pretty panicked. I asked the nurse if she would at least check to make sure I did the dang carseat right but she just laughed and put her hands in her obnoxious smiley-face scrub pockets and gave a kinda 'you have no idea what the heck you're in for' smile. Who the heck makes those dang scrubs anyway? I'm at a hospital... there isn't anything really to be that smiley about! I can understand that maybe your skin tone doesn't work with the traditional green attire but someone really needs to just burn those scrubs. (And since when do the smiley-faced people wear biker regalia?!?) I really had no idea what I was doing. I think my only saving grace was that babies are kinda hard to ruin when they sleep 22 hours a day (that and my mom flew in two hours after being told we were at the hospital- so she basically kept nugget and us alive). 

I set up her portable crib in the bedroom next to the bed. It's pink hand has a dust ruffle- if the crib was any more girly it would have some sort of makeup/wax station. It's kinda cute. I grew fond of hearing her jostle around against the netting sides as she was settling in for her night's sleep. She really was a great baby when it came time for sleeping: a little fuss then down for the count. At about five weeks she was sleeping anywhere between 6-8 hours a night. Be really jealous (although her sleep patters were erratic and would swing from good to bad on a whim). She was nighttime gold.

Returning home we decided it was time for her to be in her crib which is in her nursery down the hall from our bedroom. It may as well be in another planet because sitting in bed tonight I feel lightyears away from her. It sucks (mostly because I miss my friend, and also because now the cat can sleep int he bedroom and he likes sleeping on the face.) I miss hearing her jostling around trying to get comfy. I miss her little lips making the motions for her pacifier as she was drifting off to sleep.  I don't want to fall asleep because what if the baby monitor doesn't work and she's up crying in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared and there I am, a blob just sleeping away like my baby is visiting Mars for the weekend. 

I hate it. 

I sense a love/hate relationship forming with my little poop-factory-angel growing up.